I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
