He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
