Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
