I didn't shave. On purpose
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
