do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
