i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
