Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
vagina is talking i cant
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
