sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
