Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Randomize
