I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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