He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
COCAINE IS GR8
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
