Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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