I'm so fucking centered right now
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
