Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
