Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
