"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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