Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
