I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When are your genitals available?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
