She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
