bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
