so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
