It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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