She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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