East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
