Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
third nipple confirmed
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
