My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
