i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
