College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
