I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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