the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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