Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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