You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
