My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
