literally had 100 drinks last night.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
