We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
