How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
