i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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