I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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