Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
