My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
