I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
