Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
