Sry I called you an 8
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
