My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
