how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
