Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
