I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was like eating out sand paper
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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