i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
