Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Pants are for mortals
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
