u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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