We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
