He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
