hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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