Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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